When I gave birth I nearly died. Seriously. I had a case of 24 hour preeclampsia (which means that I had insanely high blood pressure) and my nurses and husband were running around my hospital room frantically as I sat there arguing with my nurse about my condition.
I felt fine. I was calm. I knew I wasn’t going to die…and I didn’t because 10 hours later Price Juron was born and the life of a 22 year old changed forever. I began to truly live.
My son was the sweetest baby ever. He rarely cried, always smiled, and ate really well. (Babies that eat well make life easy.)
I fell in love with his little blue eyes and blonde hair. They are anomalies given that my husband and I have dark features. (Gerald is African American and I am Korean.Yeah, we are both mixed with some Caucasian.)
My husband changed every diaper for a straight month and we were on rotation for sleep. I was thrilled and my son was precious.
It was bliss…bliss or sleep deprivation.
When my son was 3 months old, we decided to leave Chicagoland, where a majority of family lives to venture out to the wild wild West and cheer for my brother-in-law as he played football for Colorado State University.
On July 5, 2008 my entire family sobbed, including myself as the Macons drove off into the firework flashing sky and began our first journey as a family.
Fast forward nearly four years later and you find me realizing how quickly time moves.
I have enjoyed three Mother’s days where it was I who was being honored. I embrace the recognition because motherhood has had its ups and downs.
Not a full night of sleep for three straight years, being peed on, being pooped on, money going towards diapers instead of shoes, money going to daycare instead of clothes, meltdowns in public places (both Price and myself). Plus, the changes a woman goes through while being pregnant and after giving birth are ones you can’t prepare your mind or body for.
When my friends refer to me as a mom, I think…yes, yes I am.
When my sister says, “You are just saying that because you are a mom”, I think…no, no I am not.
When my husband reminds me that I am not “just one of the girls” anymore and I can’t spend weekends frolicking the city or hitting up a happy hour sans Price without getting a sitter, I think…damn why did we move so far away from family.
Before I had Price, I knew that I wanted to conquer the world of business. I would not be a stay at home mom. It wasn’t for me. I stayed home while I obtained my Master degree and loneliness was nearly my demise. (We were new to Fort Collins, Price was less than a year old when I began my studies and I am an ENFJ.)
And having conversations through out his four years of life that leave me with great Price quotes like:
“Mom, I woke the sun up.”
“Mom, I just transformed from Batman to Superman.”
“Dad, can I transform?”
“Which grandma? The one that speaks English?” (Both grandmas speak English, my mom just has a Korean accent.)
“Dad threw away my old toys and that’s so rude. You should buy me this new toy.”
“You’re not my best friend, dad is. Okay, you can be my best friend.”
“But I want to snuggle with a real human being.”
“What desert can I have after breakfast?”
“I want a sister then a brother then a sister and then a brother.”
“Four-year-old’s know everything.”
In hindsight the time at home was great, but I felt desolate and about two years later I graduated and I was desperate to become June again.
I was desperate because I need to work. I am a workaholic. I love to interact, engage, be bossy. I love to read, to learn, to teach. I needed to be in the professional world, especially because I took out student loans and need to pay them back. And now I have two jobs. One as an instructor at a local community college and the other as a social media strategist.
At my job in the world of web marketing, inbound marketing, SEO, SEM…or whatever other name it goes by I am specifically focused in all things social.
I am always involved on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google+ and even Tumblr. I do have a WordPress blog out there, too. I do it for my company, I do it for our clients, I do it for our country…okay that is a little dramatic, but you get it.
Because of my obsession, er, passion, I mean job, my son knows how to work a Droid, Iphone, Ipad, computer, laptop. He knows what Facebook and Twitter are. (Although he calls it Tweeter.) And he is familiar with being videotaped and stalked as though I am the paparazzi and he is my celebrity muse.
I am happy when I work. My son and my husband are happy because I can truly be a good mom and wife when I am fulfilled.
I love my family, but I also crave for my career. And so here I am on this journey of motherhood all the while focused on my career.
Please wish me luck, once we have an addition to this family I can only hope that my career will still live on.