So it’s Saturday morning of Memorial Day weekend. Kids are up around 7. We’re headed to Boulder to meet Jon’s mom who’s visiting from Arizona. We’re going to stay at a hotel, have some fun at the pool, and go to a graduation party.
Sounds great. Except for the fact that actually getting there is going to be completely and utterly painful. It always is.
Even though we’re up at 7, we don’t leave until 9. It’s not like we’re taking our sweet time reading the paper and sipping coffee. It’s a whirlwind: up and down the stairs 200 times. Getting ourselves packed, getting the kids packed, applying sunscreen, putting on bathing suits, avoiding tantrums, eating breakfast, and shoving snacks into tiny little plastic containers.
We get in the car. The journey to the hotel is less than 40 miles away but it takes us an hour to get from our house to the Harmony exit, just 6 miles away.
Jon and I haven’t eaten yet, so we stop by Starbucks to pick up coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Jon realizes he doesn’t have his wallet. We have to go back home.
Finally en route. Kids are watching a DVD. For about 20 minutes, complete euphoria. Then Easton’s headphones don’t work anymore. Jon pulls over in an attempt to fix. No go. Easton is getting impatient. Wants his headphones back. Last resort: ditch the headphones and put the movie on the whole stereo system so that all of us can listen for the duration of this incredibly relaxing and blissful journey to Boulder.
Welcome to my life
Aside from the special trip to visit family in Boulder over a holiday, this is pretty typical of life on the weekend. The mass chaos that ensues when attempting to enjoy an outing as a family. The constant struggle to balance the break I so badly need, the limited time I get to spend with my husband and kids, the chores that need to be done to support our family, and the precious few hours I’m awarded to keep up with this tiny little passion of mine that I call a company.
But this is life. And instead of always pushing against, I’m finally learning to surrender.
The month of May
So the flywheel is starting to turn at Mack Web, but for some reason, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep expecting the surge of interest to wane and we’ll be right back where we were. Before all of this started to happen.
But things are different now. The team keeps telling me to prepare for abundance. I could be wrong, but this feels like an upward trajectory and we better hold on tight.
But with success comes a lot more of everything. This is what the month of May looked like:
Signed & onboarded two new clients
Trained a new team member
Got ready for another
Had daughter’s 5th birthday
Had husband’s 45th birthday
Bought a car
My 94 year old grandma died
Wrote my SearchLove presentation
Made the trek to Boston to speak at SearchLove
Not to mention the normal daily stuff like:
Meals for the family every night
Lunches for the kids every day
Reading to stay on top of the industry
Leading, managing & supporting the team
Time with my husband
Time to myself
Time for yoga
At times, I was feeling a little like Joe Pesci:
I’ve got absolutely nothing to complain about. I’m blessed with two healthy and amazing kids, a wonderful husband, and a thriving company. Sometimes it would just be nice if I didn’t feel all of those blessings at once.
It’s always going to be like this
How lucky am I?
But for the longest time, I was having so much resistance to so many things in my life. I wasn’t seeing it as abundance. It was all just more work. More to handle. More to balance.
I’m not sure what happened but all of a sudden it feels like my perspective has changed. I started to realize that my life is always going to be like this. I have a choice to look at it as a burden I have to bear, or I can see it as abundance.
Because the thing is, this is life and it’s happening right now. Not when the kids are older and Easton doesn’t need help going to the bathroom anymore. Not when Jon and I have more time for us because the kids don’t always need constant attention. Not when Mack Web is out of its current growth stage.
It’s always going to be something. So I’m learning to look at it through a different lens and appreciate the abundance. All of it.
Because I really don’t want things to be any different.
Even though there’s a great deal of pain that comes along with the success Mack Web is experiencing, I’m full on embracing it.
When I’m making lunches and doing dishes after a 14 hour day, instead of hating my life, I’m picturing my kids eating their little ham & cheese sandwiches on those cute little Hawaiian rolls.
If it takes me over a month to write a Moz post because I have to do it in 2-3 minute increments standing in the corner of my bedroom because that’s the only place I can find any peace, so be it.
When I’m running out of patience, compassion, kindness, and empathy because I’ve got too much to handle, I will have the breakdown I deserve and keep on pushing.
This is the life I have been blessed with. Bring it on.